Our Adoption Journey

My first memory of orphanages/ orphans date back to 1998 when I was working as a Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) nurse. A co-worker left her job to go live and work as a RN/missionary in a Romanian orphanage. This sparked my interest in orphanages/orphans. January 1999 I participated on my first medical mission trip to India with Tom Cox Ministry. During our medical clinic, we had treated some local orphans.  Later that evening we went by the orphanage to check on them (my first visit to an orphanage). It was there that I saw a sick boy curled up in the corner of a bunk bed all alone.  I crawled into the bunk bed, picked him up, held him, and kissed him while tears flowed because this simple act that so many take for granted every day, will never be known to this little boy and other orphans. That was the pivatol moment that would set in motion the journey to Aiden.  

10 month later (10/99),  I met my soul-mate Ray.  Within a few months of realizing we were going to marry, I shared my experiences in India and desire to adopt despite having biological children.  He was all for it!  Little did we know  infertility would happen to us.  To this day, there is no medical explanation for the infertility.  Please understand adoption HAS NEVER been a second choice  for us,  IT has always  been part of our original plan to expand our family.

While these things were coming together , on the other side of the world another story was unfolding. 2 am the morning of July 21, 2002 a baby was found at a street corner in Langfang City, China. He was very small and weak so he was taken to the local hospital for medical care. No information about the child was available so they estimated that he was around 3 months old.  They determined his medical condition was spina bifida. The police searched for his family but they were unable to find them. He was taken to the Langfang Social Welfare Institution where he would live until August 2010. He was given the name Dang Tian Ai, which means "Heaven's Love" and we celebrate his birthday on 7-21-02.  (The fact, Tian birth family kept him for 3 months, tells me that he was loved and the decision to let him go was very difficult. It is known in China that families are limited in how many children they can have. The Chinese culture believe that sick children are "bad luck" and brings curses on a family. Often times, mothers are forced to give up their sick children by elders in the family. In addition to this, access to the medical care Tian needs is something that many families can not provide. No matter the reason, one thing is for sure we will never forget the sacrifice, pain, and love his birth family has for him.) 

During the summer of 2005, I connected with the Kenyarelief.org medical mission teams and participated in two trips in August 2005/March 2006.  I worked with orphans and orphanages once again.  My March trip really touched me emotionally.  Seeing the need for  greater medical care access to orphans prompted me to go back to medical school to become a physician. While in medical school, I was unable to travel on mission trips but wanted to do more for orphans, so in July 2007, Ray and I created an adoption grant organization, Our Creator's Hope, Inc (OCH).  

www.ourcreatorshope.com and www.ochgrants.blogspot.com . This organization offers adoption grants to Christian families adopting domestically and internationally. To date, OCH has provided 3 adoption grants of $1000 dollars for domestic and international adoptions.  It was during this our work with OCH that I met Staci Singleton.  Staci created our OCH video and her sister, Rachael created our logo. Through our friendship and following her blog we found out about a little boy Dang Tian Ai.  

In January 17, 2008, Staci Singleton, posted a plea on her blog about Tian Ai because her sisters who were Tian's orphanage friends, would name their friends from the orphanage and beg the Singleton's to find them a mommy and daddy in the USA.  After reviewing her blog post and Tian's file we decided we wanted to purse his adoption.  This is where the story becomes complicated but extraordinary!!!!  

After ensuring we met China's pre-approval with WACAP, we began working on the paperwork.  I contacted the case worker at WACAP about our current international living situation (we were living in the Netherland-Antilles where i was finishing up my basic science portion of medical school). We were planning to  transition back to the states in the summer of 2008 and I wanted to make sure that would work with the adoption. Upon notification of this, they discouraged us from proceeding with Tian’s adoption due our current situation (living abroad). They felt his adoption would need to be finalized during our transition back to the states and they didn't want any delays in our paperwork or process. Here's their response: “Unfortunately I would suggest that you wait. Even though pre approval can take 4-6 weeks I have now had some families approved in less than 2 weeks. That means you could be approved a couple weeks from now and then we would be awaiting your homestudy and you should be working on your dossier. In order to submit your dossier you need to submit the homestudy and you have to have a permanent home (the home where you will reside with the child). Depending on the social worker writing the homestudy it can take anywhere to 4-6 weeks and sometimes they come out to visit you 2-3 times. It just doesn’t seem like perfect timing right now. If it were closer to June and your husband were in your new home it might be doable. I know you became attached to Tian Ai but it is our hope that we bring him home to a family as quickly as possible. If for some reason he is still on the list later (and I hope he is not for his sake), I would advise you to begin the process closer to when you are due home. I will definitely keep you in mind if he has not found a family by then.” We were devastated.  Through the “grapevine”, we heard this same individual at WACAP sent out an email a week later stating that his file was being sent back to China due to lack of interest.  (If a child's file is sent back to China its known that their file becomes inactivated and their opportunity for adoption is gone) We were so upset and shocked that they would send his file back when we wanted to adopt him even if it meant there would be delays. 

Upon contacting the agency concerning this,we were notified that a family who had completed prior China adoptions was paper ready and was interested in adopting him.  We were so heartbroken and crushed that Tian was not able to be adopted by us, but we fully supported this family with their adoption of Tian.  I stayed in contact with the adoptive family throughout their adoption process. July 2008, we were notified by the adoptive family that Tian wanted to be taken off the adoption list and did not want to meet the family approved to adopt him, nor did he wish to go to the USA for his new life.  We all could not believe the officials would let a 6 year old make that kind of decision but they did.  

At this point, we thought the door for adoption of Tian had officially closed, so Ray and I sent in our initial online application fee to CWA agency. We wanted to pursue the Kazakhstan program, but in July 2008, CWA was not taking applications for Kazakhstan, so we decided on the Bulgaria program. As the months passed, we just felt like we were stuck in limbo. We never felt as strong about any particular country or child outside of  Dang Tian Ai.   We started the process of gathering stuff for our home study but really did not have a sense of urgency.  

On May 27th, 2009,  our faith that God is in control paid off.  Staci Singleton sent me an email saying (her contact in China, W) wanted to know if anyone was interested in Tian Ai. W said he told her one day at her visit to the orphanage, that he wanted a family and surgical correction of his back. W spoke with him about what had happened previously and he assured her he was ready for a family. So she advocated to the CCAA and orphanage to get his adoption file up to date and available again for adoption. I have been told the fact that CCAA and the orphanage resubmitted his paperwork again at the age of 7 years old is a miracle in itself.  We were told that Holt could do a pre-ID adoption by W and would it be possible to use them for our agency. Again, God had it all under control, because we happened to live in an area with a local Holt International office.  We waited for a year before hearing news on the status of his file,  May 5, 2010,  Holt notified us that his  file was reactivated and was soon to be released to the CCAA shared files so we needed to update our Homestudy and work towards completing our Dossier.  

Another miracle occurred the summer of 2010 on August 9, 2010, Tian left the orphanage forever!!! W was able to find him a foster home. He moved in with the D, an Australian expat family with 2 children. Aiden began 2nd grade at BCIS, an english speaking private school. A generous donation by a local Chinese business man provided Aiden a 25k scholarship to attend the school and stay in the foster home.  Since living with his foster family, he has gone by his new name, Aiden.  We were able to send frequent pictures, clothes, birthday and Christmas gifts,  videos, and emails to Aiden frequently, which has really helped us all to bond and be well prepared for this adoption.  W and D family has done a WONDERFUL job explaining his story to him while answering his questions about us, what a family means, and adoption. He is very excited about this new change and seems very prepared and opened to adoption this time!!! 

August 21, 2010 was the first time on Live Video Skype we heard his voice and saw his face!!! September 02, 2010, marked another bump in the road. We were notified that Aiden's adoption file had to have some corrections done so it delayed the adoption by a few months.  Finally the  CCAA released his file on October 20, 2010. We locked his file and sent our LOI that day as well.  Our LOA (Letter of Acceptance) was received on November 17, 2010 and our TA (Travel approval) arrived on January 11, 2011.   

How long did it take? Jan 17, 2008-Feb 13,2011: (1123 days) 3 years and 27 days. This is day Aiden came into our life through an email/blog post!! May 27, 2009-Feb 13, 2011: (627 days) 1 year, 8 months, and 17 days. We found out that W talked with Tian and he stated he wanted to be considered for adoption, so we started our homestudy and W started the LONG process of petitioning the orphanage and CCAA to allow his file to be reactivated. May 5, 2010-Feb 14, 2011:  9 months and 8 days (284 days) We received the call from Holt that his file was definitely resubmitted and his file was soon to be released to the CCAA website.October 17, 2010-Feb 13, 2011: 3 months and 27 days (119 days) (From the time of his file was released at CCAA up to our until Gotcha Day!!)  **had we not had Aiden as a PRE-ID case this is where the normal adoption process really starts, the moment you pick your child off the CCAA list, get your LOA, Travel approvals, etc!!!**

***I have used initials only for the my personal contact and foster family in China to protect their privacy. They do a lot of hard work for the orphans and adoptions in China and i would hate for this to hamper their work in anyway****

*** REMEMBER China is 13 hours ahead of CST or 12 hours ahead of EST*****

 Example: Our Gotcha Day would actually be the evening of Feb 12th @ 930 pm CST (13th Feb 1030 am in China)***

Feb 10th: Leave KC at 4:50 pm (American Airlines) to Chicago to Beijing

Feb 11th: Arrive in Beijing at 11:30 pm

Feb 12th: Adoption orientation and sightseeing tours

Feb 13th: 0930 am leave Beijing for Langfang SWI (orphanage) where we will be united with Aiden. GOTCHA DAY!!!!!

Feb 14th: 0900 am Civil Affair Office for signing of adoption paperwork

Feb 15th: Pick up adoption documents and head back to Beijing 

Feb 16th: Visit BCIS and meet Aiden's teacher/principle, Ping An foster medical home visit, Dinner with the Dr family and W contact

Feb 17th: Great Wall of China Sightseeing

Feb 18th: Travel to Guangzhou China Southern Airlines leave at 11:30 am

Feb 19th: Visa paperwork and Medical check

Feb 20th: Sightseeing!!!

Feb 21st: TB medical appt and sightseeing!!!

Feb 22nd: Sightseeing

Feb 23rd: Oath Ceremony and visa appointment at Consulate

Feb 24th: sightseeing

Feb 25th: Pick up Visa documents and fly back to Beijing on China Southern Airlines 9 pm at night

Feb 26th: Sightseeing in Beijing

Feb 27th: Leave Beijing on Delta at 1130 am (we have 2 long layovers in Seattle and Minneapolis....plan to go sightseeing at those places)

Feb 28th: Arrive in Kansas City 431 pm on Delta

TIMELINE:


Tian was placed at the orphanage: July 21, 2002


Found out about Tian/reviewed his file with WACAP: January 17, 2008


Tian's file placed with another family: February 22, 2008


Tian's file removed by CCAA due to Tian not wanting to be adopted: July 21, 2008


News that Tian wanted a family: May 27, 2009


International Home study completed: September 15th, 2009


International Home study updated: June 2nd, 2010


Filed I-800A: June 3rd, 2010


USCIS Received I-800A: June 4, 2010


FBI Fingerprinting for I-800A: July 8, 2010


I-797 Form APPROVAL and received:  July 21, 2010 (Tian's 8th Bday)


Dossier paperwork sent to Holt: August 12, 2010


DTC (Dossier to China): August 13, 2010


Logged into China: August 24, 2010


Aiden's file released and LOI sent to CCAA: October 20, 2010


LOA (Letter of Acceptance): November 17, 2010


I-800A part 2: December 7, 2010


NVC Cable: December 13, 2010


ARTICLE 5: December 30, 2010


TA (Travel approval): January 11, 2011


Trip: February 10th-28th, 2011


Official Gotcha Day: Feb 13th, 2011!!!


Adoption Finalized: Feb 14th, 2011!!!


Arrived Home forever in Kansas City: Feb 27th, 2011!!!